drunk with connectivity and high on withdrawel

hooray! i am back online! *wiping sweaty palms off on thighs, panic easing* and yes shea, this will probably be the death of us all in one way or another. everything addictive kills, right?

though i did have an odd dream last night where you almost drowned in a raging river that we were supposed to have hopped across a chasm over to get to our fancy dinner with a bunch of my family & friends. it was a wierd dream, patch induced vividness. my dad was alive in it too, ran into him at a yard sale or something like that while visiting family & 'discovered' he wasnt really gone. i think he was the one who pulled you out of the river while i was trying to get a large bulky coat off so i could swim. then we all went to one of my relatives house. i woke up thinking i had to call my sister to let her know dad wasnt really dead and that she needed to come to idaho.

needless to say, that one took a while to shake off. i think i'll be taking these things off long before bed, and whoopee if i end up smoking a little late at night or in the morning while i wait for the patch to kick in. i cant take dreams like that. like when i tried last spring and spent over 2 weeks where i wasnt sure what happened while i was awake or asleep. nevermind that im already a choatic and emotional mess.