keepin on

"sometimes you cant make it on your own."

u2 on snl tonight, rerun im sure, played that song for their set. its one of those songs that always strikes that deep chord of lonliness in me.

and i realize that while i see the truth in it, in not always having to do it all by myself, to have someone that - as ed put it - can lie if necessary and tell you everything will be ok, that makes you happy and holds you at night, and all the other stuff that goes with that. but above and beyond the emotional issues, its not like its easy to just run across someone to be in yr life like that.

i mean ive got some trust issues here, to say the least, back to that stereotypical-scorpio-not-opening-up-or-showing-emotions thing. so, as im falling apart off and on, just how do i find someone that a) i could love, loves me, and all that happy horse-shit, b) can deal with me, and c) can trust to be there, that is capable of taking care of things, of me, when i cant? thats a whole lot to ask for, without settling out of need?

so keepin' on keepin' on i guess