bodily ills

i think im starting to pick up my dear friends neurotic hypochondriac habit of feeling there is certainly something very wrong physically with me...

i feel icky in my body. stress makes me break out, and breaking out makes me more stressed, im starting to look like a greasy 16 year old -- but of course without the lack of responsibility or potential of a teenager.

ive gained 5-10 lbs in the last couple of weeks, which of course i never put on evenly or in a flattering way, and on a shorter person its a big difference, it just doesnt sit well. i feel all bloated and like my skin is stretched too tight, my clothes dont fit quite right and self-conciousness is setting in.

ive also realized its been at least 2 yrs now since ive had my yearly, plus i dont think ive even had my period this year -- its increasingly sporadic ever since i got my iud. my joints hurt, severe tension heacaches are becoming par, no matter what i do or whether or not i wear a bra. my tummy has been doing very, very wierd things.

also been feeling very wierd-bad-icky-nauseous sick lately -- if it hadnt been so long since ive been laid id swear i was pregnant. its wierd on that one, like last night i was drinking, a little much but not that much, and it hit me really hard, then i started feeling bad-sick, but not like a drunk sick. it was wierd. and today, along with a nice little throbbing-headache-hangover that has at least has gone away, ive been feeling wierd sick all day.

oddly enough, the neurotic theory thats springing from that is: roofies? maybe i am knocked up afterall, and theres some little fetus-thinger in there growing around my iud. they say if you do get preg w/ an iud and its not removed asap, the fetus just absorbs it. i always had this funny little picture in my mind of a baby born with a perfect little T on its forhead. seriously though, i havent felt like this since i was pregnant, and except the last 2 weeks, i have been out tearing it up a lot, who fucking knows. that is the point of roofs, that there is absolutely no memory of it at all... and ive been such a space case for the last 6 months (ha! my whole bloody life!) that a lapse in memory here or there wouldnt arouse suspicion. i wonder sometimes at all the things that might hide in my blank spots...

and nevermind once you start to get into all the things that could be wrong with me mentally -- depression, manic swings, anxiety, stress, forgetfullness, procrastination, self-esteem, etc, etc, etc...

see? im coming down with a certain someones neurotic habits! leaving the question of whether its contagious, or are we just being empathetic again? we always seem to swing in similar circles, issues and phases, moods, even when we're not around eachother... hetero-lifemates, joined somewhere in the cosmos, swinging our lives & moods in similar archs and patterns whether we like it or not. its odd. reminding me again how grateful i am for my best friends... *sigh* moving from whiney to moppy-nostalgic now...

ech. so there you have it, all the bodily ills you never wanted to know about ;p